Bullying & Happiness

What follows is the most valuable advice I have ever received with regard to self-esteem, confidence, and happiness, the kryptonite to bullies, or just ANYONE that wants to take you down a knotch. I wish I knew it growing up. Until high school, I was easily one of the most ripped on kids in each grade. There was usually one unfortunate soul even more socially clueless or physically disadvantaged to keep me from being at the very bottom, but second place was still BRUTAL.

It helps to know the psychology behind bullying, and how we ALL have the capacity to do it. It took me years to realize that I had been guilty of doing the same thing I thought I despised. There will always be people that want to take their problems out on others, or, “just have fun,” no matter what you do. So you can’t control their actions, but you can control your response to them. This is how... 

Happiness Component #1: Brain Chemistry

Brain chemistry is often neglected, but integral to self-esteem and happiness (it is a function of genetics, early childhood, and lifestyle; and there are many ways it can be “adjusted,” 100% naturally). No amount of “Positive Thinking” will make someone with compromised brain chemistry confident or truly happy. There are so many natural ways to fix this. It is unfortunate how the Medical Industrial Complex goes straight to the potentially dangerous band-aids. I will address the brain chemistry component thoroughly in the book.

Happiness Component #2: An “Inner scorecard”

Warren Buffett, one of the most successful people alive, by any objective standard, in business and life, learned the importance of having an “Inner scorecard” from his father, and considers it the most valuable advice he ever received. Essentially, an inner scorecard means exactly as it sounds: You don’t live by the standards of others; you don’t judge yourself by the opinions of others; you don’t let your happiness have any dependence on the uncontrollable caprices of others, period. Instead, you live by your own standards, judge yourself by your own opinion (of your adherence to those standards), and experience happiness as a result of getting an “A” on your inner scorecard.

This site is a great example. I have been very apprehensive about putting this stuff out there. It feels uncomfortable and “risky.” But the one thing I keep coming back to is: Am I betraying my principles? Are my motives pure? After answering these questions, I feel very good about this site because my Inner Scorecard gives me an “A.” If I receive criticism, I will simply reconcile that criticism with my Inner Scorecard to see if that criticism requires change or dismissal. Can you see how the “Inner Scorecard” can be applicable to ANY criticism or external pressures?

Happiness Component #3: Purpose

“In some way, suffering ceases to be suffering at the moment it finds a meaning.” -Dr. Viktor Frankl

“He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how.” -Nietzsche

“Happiness is not doing the things we like, but liking the things we have to do.” –Ben Sweetland

Purpose changes EVERYTHING. It gives you the power to conquer the things we can, and transcend the things we can’t.

If you had, say, a fitness goal, and I said, “Okay, if you do the diet and exercise needed to achieve that goal for just the next 24 hours, I’ll give you a suitcase full of one million dollars, tax-free, in cash, 24 hours from now.” Assuming your brain responds to incentives like the rest of humans, and you’re not already worth a few hundred mil., this should make you HAPPY to do the diet and exercise you previously considered difficult. It’s all about purpose, and making the mental connections.

From a single set in a workout to waking up early to dealing with unpleasant people, when you have the burning fire of a purpose that is deeply important to YOU—an idea, a goal, a future, a person—ATTACHED to your everyday actions, you very literally WANT to do the things you “must,” and can transcend the distractions. All day, every day, you are then propelled forward by that beautiful, mountain-moving, civilization-making, drug: Purpose.

In the book, I will show you how to turn purpose into my favorite “life hack”: “Transcendence.” Purpose gets you jumping out of bed, excited about the world. Transcendence takes you to a completely different world.